


AU Meme: Sapphire and Steel

by thisbluespirit



Category: Sapphire and Steel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Ficlet, Gen, Request Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24512227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbluespirit/pseuds/thisbluespirit
Summary: 10 AU scenarios for Sapphire & Steel, written for a Dreamwidth meme.
Relationships: Sapphire & Steel (S&S), Sapphire/Steel (S&S)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 22





	AU Meme: Sapphire and Steel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liadt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liadt/gifts).



> With acknowledgements to JohnAmendAll who came up with idea for what S&S would be in a coffee shop AU ages ago.

**Wild West**

“I’ll have a whisky,” said the woman in blue to the bartender, sitting down on an unsteady bar stool.

“Early in the afternoon to start on the hard stuff, ma’am.”

She smiled. “Oh, but if I waited, I might not have the chance. My colleague is in the process of cleaning up the town. There may not be much left standing by the time night comes around.”

The bartender laughed, but the strange woman didn’t smile back. He glanced beyond her to where the frowning Man in Grey stood in the doorway, framed against the light. “He don’t look that scary.”

“Not as much as what’s been going on around here, no,” she said. She raised her glass. “Lucky for you.”

**Coffee Shop**

“People deserve to eat and drink in establishments that show some concern for their continued wellbeing. If this café falls beneath those standards, I will use the powers invested in me to close it.”

Sapphire glanced around the café with its cheerful yellow décor, full of people drinking tea and coffee and chatting. “Steel. I trust you’re not accusing me of not understanding our work?”

“You are an excellent Health and Safety Inspector, of course,” he allowed. “But sentiment has no place here.”

“I had noticed. Still, when you have closed every single establishment we’ve visited this week, I feel I’m entitled to point out that you may have become too stringent.”

**Shapeshifters**

_Pack rules,_ said Steel, mind to mind. _Do you want me to list how many you’ve just broken?_

The newest werewolf hunched away from the pack leader. _Oh, it’s always my fault, isn’t it? I wasn’t trying to change right in front of that human. He just wandered in at the wrong moment._

_If you followed Steel’s instructions, Gold, you would have shifted in a more private spot and none of this would have happened,_ Sapphire pointed out.

Steel shook himself. _If you want an example, you could do worse than look at Sapphire._

_Why, thank you, Steel. I’m overcome. I think that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me._

**Magic/Fairy Tale**

Once upon a time there was a toy soldier, made out of metal. It had been painted, in the beginning, but his colours had worn away over the years, and now it was only a grey man – nothing special to look at. In the daytime, he lay, forgotten in a corner by the hearth and looked up at the mantelpiece, where there was a blue glass figure of a woman in a long skirt and a wide-brimmed hat. For an hour every morning, two in summer, she sparkled in the sunlight that stole into the room. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

At night, they met on the hearth. She teased him to dance, though he didn’t know how. And all day, they waited for night to come again.

It couldn’t be love, for they had no hearts. But whatever it was, it outlasted the room until they danced in its ruins under the starlight.

**. . . In SPACE!!**

“You’ve impounded my ship! How dare you!”

Steel sighed and checked his datapad as the ship’s captain glared at him. “Yes, sir. We have. Your vessel is in direct violation of sixty-three safety protocols.”

“You can’t do this! I’ll get this thing removed and take off anyway!” The captain had turned a bright shade of red and looked about to burst with fury.

Sapphire arrived beside the irate man. “Perhaps you could,” she said, “but if you do, you won’t live to regret it. Unless, of course, you can survive without oxygen?”

“That would explain why he’s allowed the life-support systems to deteriorate to their current state.”

The captain stopped, turning from one to the other. “What are you saying?”

“Captain,” said Sapphire. “Trust me. You’re going to be _very_ glad you met us.”

**Historical**

Mr Steel was Chief Sanitary Officer with the local authority. He was highly efficient in his work. No unsavoury landlord got away with placing tenants in unfit accommodation in his ward. He had all the assistance he needed.

What he did not need was a well-meaning Lady Visitor.

“I really don’t have time for this, Miss –?”

“Sapphire,” she said, and smiled before he could establish whether or not that was her first name or last. “I’m sure you’re a busy man. You have an impressive reputation. That’s why I asked for you.”

He narrowed his gaze, suspecting her flattery to be insincere, but she held his gaze without flinching.

“Yes,” she said, “and it’s is why I must speak to you about the shocking housing conditions still prevalent in Cross Street. They are an abomination and someone must put an end to it.”

“You think I will?”

“I suspect no one else could.”

**Canon Divergence**

“We failed,” said Sapphire. 

She rested her hand on Steel’s shoulder as they watched the corridor shatter and time march in victorious, the fates of so many bending and twisting out of shape before its progress. She heard the screams of the future in her mind and shivered.

“ _No,_ ” Steel said, as if that could change it.

But then they had always known time would win in the end.

**Crime/Detectives**

“Inspector,” said Sapphire, extending her hand to DCI Steel as she entered the room. “How many times must we have this conversation?”

He straightened. “I’m doing my job. It would be a lot easier without you lawyers pestering me. You should know by now that I stick to the law.”

“Yes, very rigidly,” said Sapphire. “Which is why your overnight cell is overflowing again, something I think you need to deal with. But first I need to negotiate bail for my client.”

The Chief Inspector glared. Although, of course, it could be said that his behaviour invited these visits of hers…

**Supernatural**

Sapphire let the ash trickle through her fingers, the castle lying in ruins around her. “Was that really the only way?”

“They were all infected,” said Steel. “It was the only way if we wanted to be certain that infection died here.”

Sapphire brushed the dust away. The sun was rising and the vampires were gone, but it was a shame about that plucky, well-meaning band of travellers. She sighed.

“It was the _safest_ way,” said Steel.

Sapphire raised her head and met his gaze. “You know, Steel, sometimes I wonder about _you_.”

**Romance Novel**

“Steel,” said Sapphire, “how unexpectedly dramatic of you. Storming into the church like that and disrupting the ceremony.”

Steel brushed offending dust from his shoulders. “The roof was about to fall in. Someone had to do something. Besides, I do object. That fellow isn’t good enough for you.”

“Oh?” said Sapphire, raising an eyebrow and then moving in closer. “Then who is?”


End file.
